Do You See What I See?
by Abstract Nonsense
Summary: Allen was blind. He hated himself for it. To him, the blind were weak and foolish. Kanda was an average college student who wants to save him from the dark, even if he plunges himself into the abyss. One-shot, Yullen, bitter. Happy Holidays.


**_This story is not to insult anyone. May include small OOC-ness, mentions of homosexual sex, profanity, and homosexuality. None of the information concerning blindness, psychology, and medicine are true. This is Yullen - Kanda Yuu and Allen Walker._**

**_Happy Holidays._**

* * *

><p><strong>May 3, 2010; 3:15 PM<strong>

"And so, placebo results in the subject believing –"

Yuu Kanda, a second year in Black Order University, groaned as he picked up his bags and silently slipped out the lecture room. The professor up front, Noise Marie, raised a brow at his most active student leaving early, but continued his lecture about placebo.

Kanda yawned. His hair was in a messy ponytail and his blue eyes had dark circles under them. He had stayed up too late last night partying with his roommate, Lavi Bookman, and seeing as how he already read about placebo, he hoped he wasn't making the mistake of skipping the lecture for a quick nap at the library. He lazily walked to the east of the campus, where the library was. The Japanese student cursed himself for choosing an apartment so far from his classes. There was a perfectly nice apartment for rent next to them, but he decided it was too expensive.

He sulked at his regrets as he entered the library, chose a table, and dumped his books next to him. Kanda yanked out his ponytail, since its messiness made him look somewhat like a hobo, plugged in earphones, and lay his head on the table.

"_Si deus me relinquit_

_Ego deum relinquo…"_

The voice was silky and soft, lulling Kanda into unconsciousness. He was just about to shut his eyes when a chair gave a screech and books were thrown onto the desk next to him. Irritated, Kanda snapped his head up, ripped out the earbuds, and snarled, "Can you be any louder, fucktard?"

The kid next to him didn't reply. He his hood up, but Kanda could tell that he had black headphones on and was skimming his fingers across the page of his book.

"Fucking beansprout," he growled as he got up and yanked the hood off.

"Ah!" The kid gave a small shriek.

Whoops. Got some of this hair.

The headphones slipped off his head.

Kanda's eyes widened as he let go of the person's hood and…silver hair?

"Who are you?" came the British accent, "It's terribly rude to interrupt someone while they're reading, especially in the library, don't you think?"

Maybe it was because Kanda was half-asleep. Maybe it was because Lavi had made him drink until he had a hangover last night. Maybe Kanda was simply an asshole. But for whatever reason it was, the kid's polite words ticked him off.

"Don't you think it's rude to have woken someone up with your fucking noises, beansprout?" he snapped.

"This is a library, a public area for literature. I'm sorry I woke you up, but I don't see why you needed to sleep in here, rather than in your own room."

"I don't see why you can't be loud somewhere else," Kanda snarled, "And while we're on the subject of being rude, I think it's pretty damn rude to not look someone in the eye while you're speaking to them."

The kid turned around and the Japanese was shocked again by the long scar running down the left of his face and pale blue eyes. He gave a glare as he retorted, "I would if I could, but I can't, so I shan't."

He picked up his books and stormed out of the library.

Kanda gave a small snort at the stranger's lame comeback. Before he could sit back down and return to his dreams, there was a deep melody of a bell. Damn. The lecture was probably over, and he needed to return to class. So much for sleeping.

He sighed as he scooped up his belongings and left the library.

* * *

><p><strong>May 3, 2010; 11:23 PM<strong>

"Yuu! Tyki's having another pa –"

"Hell the fuck no."

"Aww…come on, Yuu! You're so funny when you're drunk!"

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Please? Pretty please? KANDA?"

"No. I have a test tomorrow."

"You can wing it; you did it before in Kendo Club."

"That was fucking high school and you can't fucking study for Kendo."

"But I called you Kanda!"

"Fucking rabbit, shut the hell up."

"…Okay…"

As soon as the redheaded roommate left, Kanda jumped onto his bed in a very non-Kanda-like fashion. He stretched and laid there for a few minutes, in a very awkward position.

The apartment had become quiet again. Finally.

After a few moments of silence dedicated to himself, he got up and pulled his books out of his bag. Math, Science, History…Psychology?

Kanda frowned. He hadn't taken his psychology textbook with him to class today...

"Parapsychology – Allen Walker"

Allen…who the hell was Allen?

He flipped open the book curiously. Kanda took parapsychology and read/was lectured about other kinds of psychology, and had read the entire textbook back-to-back. But this one appeared to be a different version of his book, since there wasn't an image on the cover.

To his dismay, there were no words in the textbook. Instead, there were dots all over the pages.

"Braille…?"

…

Had he met any blind people today?

He surely would've remembered, since he never took an interest in people in the first place. He snapped the book shut and tossed it onto his desk before pulling out his own textbook on the subject and began to re-read it.

* * *

><p><strong>May 3, 2010; 11:30 PM<strong>

Allen yawned as he strolled over to his bed and grabbed his bag. He flopped onto the bed and rummaged through the leather pack before pulling out two books.

…

Two?

If Allen wasn't mistaken, he had taken three books with him that day.

…

He groaned as he slapped his forehead. He probably left it in the library. Next to that rude bitch.

* * *

><p><strong>May 4, 2010; 3:00 PM<strong>

Allen skipped Parapsychology again.

The small silverette rushed back to the library, hoping that his book would still be there. It was really hard to find; Noise Marie wanted Allen to be on the same level as anyone else, so he had searched far and wide for a book in Braille that was the exact same thing as the textbooks his other students used. Blindness did not mean stupidity. Besides, Noise Marie was blind too, so he felt that he should, in a way, be on Allen's side.

Allen did not seem to see it the same way Noise did.

He groaned as he rushed to the table he was at the day before to find that his book wasn't there. He didn't like Noise, so he didn't really want to tell him he lost his book, not to mention bother him again with looking for the book.

"Looking for something?"

Allen stopped breathing.

That voice.

That horribly arrogant, rude voice.

Allen turned his head to the direction of the damned voice, "You again? Didn't you have enough yesterday?"

The bastard snorted, "Who's being rude now? Here I was, trying to find the owner of some book, and you stand, insulting my very presence."

Oh, so now he's a drama queen?

Wait.

Book?

Allen frowned, "What book?"

"I don't know, it's called 'Parapsychology', it's written in Braille, and some guy named 'Allen Walker' owns it. You don't happen to know an 'Allen Walker', do you?"

"I'm Allen Walker," he rushed, "Can I have my book back?"

There was a silence. Allen could tell he was staring at him.

"I can't," the person said slowly.

"What? Why?" the British student snapped.

"Because," his tone became slower. He could tell he was grinning, "You're not 'Allen Walker'. You're a beansprout."

* * *

><p><strong>May 30, 2010; 2:23 PM<strong>

"I don't know why I even took Parapsychology," Allen sighed as he jumped onto Kanda's couch, "I don't like it at all."

"I don't know why I even came to college," Kanda deadpanned, "I wanted to stop right after high school."

Allen gave another sigh as Kanda picked up his bag and handed it to him, "C'mon, let's go to that Parapsychology lecture. I've never seen you in class, anyway."

"I don't want to," came his reply.

Kanda frown as he sat down next to him. The silverette leaned his head onto his companion's shoulders.

"Why not? I know you hate it and all, but you're the one who chose it as a major."

"I'm prejudice, that's why," the British student replied numbly as he leaned closer to Kanda, "I just study from books and hand in extra credit. I'm good. Besides, you can teach me when you get back."

"Damn beansprout," Kanda rested his head on top of Allen's, "Go yourself."

"Don't make me…" he groaned, "I can trust you to teach me the truth."

"If I'm not mistaken, you hated me in the beginning of this month," he muttered under his breath.

"People change," Allen snuggled onto him, "You changed a lot too."

"…"

* * *

><p><strong>August 5, 2010; 2:55 PM<strong>

"Beansprout, just come to class with me. Get over your ridiculous fear, dammit," Kanda growled as he yanked his boyfriend off the bed.

"Noooo…" Allen groaned, trying to return to the warm sheets, "It's not a fear, it's just prejudice!"

"Prejudice against what?" He snapped, "Damn beansprout, if I hadn't laid you before, I would tell you that you need to grow a pair of balls."

"Says the man with the feminine hair," Allen chuckled, weaving his fingers through Kanda's ponytail before giving it a small tug, "Now let me go back to bed."

"Stop changing the subject every time I ask!" the Japanese man said, "What is it with you and parapsychology?"

"It's not parapsychology," Allen muttered as he dived back into bed when Kanda let his wrist go, "It's Noise…"

Kanda gave a long, long stare.

"…I can tell you're staring at me."

"No shit."

"It's not like I have a crush on him, so you can calm down."

He groaned.

"How the fuck do you always read my mind…?" he muttered, embarrassed.

"I'm not a whore, Bakanda dear," he could hear his boyfriend laughing.

"You sure act like it in bed."

"Shut up."

Kanda gave up and sat on the bed, stroking Allen's silver hair, "So what's with Professor Noise?"

"…He's blind."

The Japanese man stared incredulously, "Are you fucking kidding me? So are you!"

Allen threw a pillow at him, "Thanks for reminding me."

"But seriously," Kanda caught the pillow with his ninja skills and put it back onto the bed, "Why do you hate Noise because he's blind?"

"…" Allen turned over on the bed.

"Beansprout…" he said warningly.

Allen groaned, "I hate him because he can still live on while being blind. He can still move forward. I'm stuck here, no matter how hard I work. My hearing hasn't improved since I became blind while Noise's hearing made up for his lack of sight. I don't really understand it myself. In a way, I'm jealous, but somewhere along the way, I came to hate the blind. I'm no exception."

"...If you could see, would you love yourself more?"

"…I don't know. I don't remember what it's like to see."

* * *

><p><strong>December 24, 2010; 6:45 PM<strong>

Allen groaned as he got up. His whole body ached horribly and he felt like throwing up.

When he felt that he could think straight, he frowned. It smelled funny in the room. The fabrics of the sheets were rougher than normal. His pillow was flat.

This wasn't his room.

"Hey, you awake?"

For the first time since he had awoken, Allen felt his presence in the room.

He smiled.

"Stupid Bakanda. We're probably late for classes."

"You've been late for classes for three days now. Damn, stop scaring me!" Allen felt his warm arms wrap around him.

"What? What happened?" Allen frowned.

Kanda let go of his embrace on the British student, "You got in a car accident like the clumsy idiot you are. You feeling better?"

Allen faintly remembered walking across the slippery street, hearing a screech, and feeling bursts of pain, but shook the thoughts away, "I'm fine. How'd you live without me?"

"…" Kanda gave a small grunt.

He smiled, knowing that that was Kanda's way of saying that he couldn't live without him.

* * *

><p><strong>December 24, 2010; 8:05 PM<strong>

"How're we gonna celebrate Christmas now?" Allen pouted, "I'm stuck in here for two weeks!"

"We'll celebrate it here," was his reply, "Not that hard."

Allen gave him a long stare, "…Yuu Kanda, I'd rather not get caught giving you a –"

"And you call me perverted? I wouldn't ask for something like that. I know you still feel awkward about it," the Japanese man snorted, "We'll give our gifts here and have our own party."

"But the nurses wouldn't let us!"

"Fuck the law, I'm staying here," replied Kanda, giving him a small kiss on the forehead, "Anyway, the doctor says you need surgery for one of those broken bones of yours. You up for it?"

"No."

"Grow some balls, beansprout."

"Vegetables can't grow balls," Allen laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>December 25, 2010; 1:00 PM<strong>

"Um…Miss? Where's Kanda? I'd rather see him before the surgery…" Allen mumbled to the nurse next to him who was fixing the flowers sent by Lavi and his other college friends that sat in a vase next to Allen's bed.

"Oh…he…he said he needed to go somewhere and said he was sorry he couldn't see you…" she stuttered before rushing out.

"…"

Allen wasn't good at reading people, but he didn't need those years of human psychology to know that the nurse was lying.

The doctor entered; Allen could tell by the way he walked.

"Well Mr. Walker. Are you ready?" the doctor asked.

"Perfectly so, Doc," the British student grinned.

He laughed, "Merry Christmas, Walker."

* * *

><p><strong>December 25, 9:00 PM<strong>

Allen stared into the mirror. He kept staring and couldn't stop staring.

Was this true? Was this really possible? How was it that he could see? What were the odds of having someone who wanted to donate their eyes? Allen didn't have corneal disease; it wasn't something any normal person would have done. Donating their eyes, in this case, was literal. Was it someone who was dying? Who would have? Allen's head burst with questions as he stared at himself.

Did he always have messy hair? Had the scar he had gotten as a child not disappeared? Did he always have sharp, cobalt blue eyes? He could not remember.

But he was happy. So, so happy. He could see. Now he could see his Kanda. He could surprise him, by going up to him and telling him exactly what he was wearing. Allen gave a small squeal of delight as the door clicked open.

His head shot up.

A man with long hair. It must be Kanda!

Allen smiled so brightly that it could've blinded everyone. His Kanda was beautiful. And he could see it.

He had long, midnight dark hair and a perfect body. He had a perfect fa –

Wait.

What was the matter with his face?

Kanda was smiling softly, but his eyes were covered by a black cloth. He stumbled across the room before feeling his way onto the stool he usually sat on.

"Hey, beansprout. Feeling better?"

Allen gaped.

He was silent.

And he cried.

His Kanda was blind.

* * *

><p><strong>December 31, 2010; 11:59 PM<strong>

Kanda sat in his room, waiting for the ding of the clock. Was it 12 yet? Was it even close to 12 yet? He sighed as he threw himself on his bed. What did it matter? He would be spending New Years alone again, for the first time since meeting Allen.

Allen…

He would probably be at Lavi's house, drinking eggnog and partying with the other college kids.

Kanda laughed humorlessly.

Allen really hated the blind, didn't he?

* * *

><p><strong>December 31, 2010; 11:59 PM<strong>

"A minute till 2011!" Tyki called out.

Lavi, who was already drunk as hell, giggled like a schoolgirl, "Hey! Allie~"

Allen turned away from his poker game with the others and to his redheaded boyfriend, "What?"

"Ya know who ya remind me of? Those eyes?" Lavi giggled, stumbling over to him and slinging his arm onto him, "Yuu! Ya know, he had nice eyes too! Same color as yours; dark blue cobalt! Hahahaa!"

* * *

><p><strong>January 1, 2011; 12:00 AM<strong>

Kanda pulled out his earphones and shoved the buds into his ear.

"_Si deus me relinquit_

_Ego deum relinquo…"_

He didn't hear the bell ringing.

Happy New Year.


End file.
